ALL SCI-FI

[Bud Brewster]

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Things I've learned while watching Supergirl, The Flash, Arrow, and DC Legends of Tomorrow.
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* A small mask that only covers the area around the eyes will hide a superhero's identity from absolutely everyone — even his closest friends and family members. Scientific studies have proven that the lower half of people's faces all look alike and provide no clues as to a person's identity.

* When a disaster strikes and fast action is required, a superhero can jump into his skintight leather outfit in less time than it takes for the average person to change their socks.

* A superhero can wear a hood to protect his secret identity . . . despite the fact it does not hide his face, and it does block his peripheral vision. However, this will never be a problem (for reasons that are too secret and complex to explain here).

* A superhero's costume is always hidden somewhere on his person. The place where he hides it is also where he puts his street clothes after the quick change. That way, nobody will find his regular clothes lying around after a superhero just happened to showed up. That would be very suspicious. (A wallet containing a picture I.D. would be especially embarrassing under these circumstances.)

* Women superheroes wear form-fitting leather outfits because they're so practical, comfortable, and inconspicuous. It allows them to blend in with crowds of average people, and their movements aren't the least bit restricted by their tight costumes.

* Female crime fighters and villainesses increase their effectiveness by wearing low-cut tops which display generous amounts of heaving bosoms. This facilitates respiration and helps cool the body. The fact that such costumes are highly erotic and extremely vain is a complete coincidence.

* Attractive women who fight crime have learned that the best footwear for running, jumping, climbing, and fighting are stiletto-heeled boots. These make them taller and more imposing to their foes, they allow them to run faster because their legs are longer, and the spiked heels are lethal weapons when used in kicking.

* Female superheroes punch just as hard as male superheroes, despite having smaller fists and smaller muscles. Scientific studies have shown that wearing stiletto heels and skintight costumes with low-cut necklines greatly enhance their physical strength. However, for unknown reasons this does not work for men. Only women.

* When holding a gun on someone, you must stand close for the gun to be effective — preferable within arm's reach. Even though this makes it easy for the person to knock the gun out of your hand, if you're not standing very close the bullet will slow down and probably just bounce off or something.

* When a dozen bad guys are shooting at good guys, they rarely hit them because they're all several yards away. (See the above item for further info on this phenomenon.)

* A superhero can have a secret high-tech base of operations that would normally require several months to build, employing a large crew of skilled workers. However, to protect his secret identity, the superhero can do all the work himself, with just a little help from his loyal sidekick whose construction experience is confined to Legos when he was nine years old.

* Being thrown across a room and smashing large pieces of furniture on impact only stuns a superhero. However, normal people are rendered unconscious until the villain leaves, after which they get up and recover in seconds.

* People who have never smoked a day in their lives will always have an old fashioned metal cigarette lighter in their pocket when they enter a dark cave or a deserted warehouse. These lighters are preferred because they give off far more light than other types, enough in fact to illuminate a large area.

* Technical wizards who do amazing things with computer don't actually need to find the right keys to type, they just have to move their fingers rapidly on the keyboard while gazing intently at the monitor. All the info they need will appear on the screen faster than with any normal computer which is commercially available.

* Superheroes who use fancy archery equipment always find it surprisingly easy to reach back to their arrow-filled quivers and grab the specific trick arrow they need. They can do this repeatedly, with lightning speed. They never grab the wrong arrow and blow up the person they only needed to trap with a net.

* Specialty arrows with long cables can be fired into solid concrete from several hundred feet away, to provide instant zip lines for superheroes. The arrows never just bounce off the hard concrete, and they never pull loose, regardless of the load placed on them.

* When specialty arrows with cables are fired straight up, they'll anchor solidly into some unseen surface in the dark region above the superhero. Then his bow will suddenly function as a power winch and yank him right up into the night quicker than an Alabama fisherman can snatch a catfish from a creek.

* Cells that are used by villains to hold superheroes (or vice versa) never have toilet facilities like normal jails. This proves that the elaborate outfits which heroes and villains wear will never cause embarrassing bathroom accidents. Super-people (both good and bad) do not poop.

* Both villains and heroes have the remarkable ability to simply vanish when they finish talking to someone. However, the person they are talking to must first turn around for a moment and look the other way. When they turn back, the villain or hero is gone. The puzzled person will never think to look behind the nearest obstruction to see if said villain or hero is hiding there. That's because it's impossible to simply hide behind something so you can't be seen.
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I shall share more interesting observations as I continue my study of these highly realistic and educational programs.
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)

[Krel]

[orzel-w]

[Bud Brewster]

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"When mankind is in trouble!"

"When the city is in danger!"

"When the chips are down and the people need a lift . . . they call . . . ."

______________________Power Wench!



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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)

[Robert (Butch) Day]

AND no one recognizes their voices — despite the fact that it isn't disguised!
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Common Sense ISN'T Common

[orzel-w]

[orzel-w]

[Bud Brewster]

[Bud Brewster]

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Years ago, my kids and I came up with an idea for a different sort of superhero, a man with no superhuman powers (like Batman) who fights crime using specialized tools which he carries in a compartmentalized belt (also like Batman), and who wears protective headgear (again, like Batman).

He's remarkably gifted when it comes to putting the tools of his trade to good use while investigating crimes, gathering evidence, and defending himself when threatened.

The difference is, this guy doesn't make his own specialized gear and compartmentalized belt. He just buys it all from . . . Home Depot.

That's right, folks! The name of this brave superhero is —




"When someone breaks the law . . . he can fix it!"

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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)

[Robert (Butch) Day]

Of course, Power Wench's secret identity is a brunette wearing glasses who acts mousy and is afraid of almost everything (another act, of course). Here portrayed by Zoeey Deschanel.





We can have FUN with this!

What is her name? Where does she live? Friends or lack thereof? Love life; yes, no? Other powers? ( I see her as an aspiring singer — she can certainly make men sing!)

It's our chance to to create our very own ALL SCI-FI super-heroine!
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Common Sense ISN'T Common

[Bud Brewster]

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I foresee romantic entanglements between Handy Man and Power Wench. They both love tools. And she got her powers when lightning struck her while working at Home Depot in the power tools department.

She's a bit like Kara Danvers on Supergirl: feminine and sweet, but smart — especially when it comes to home improvement.

She appeared in a Home Depot commercial with a few of her friends. The theme was the empowerment of women.

I think they made their point . . .


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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)

[Brent Gair]